Friday, August 28, 2009

1948 in present form -- one of the most disturbing videos I've seen

Ok, so she did a really good job, but I can't watch more than 15 seconds without feeling like saying, "GET AWAY FROM ME!" I think I almost prefer the version I've heard about 15 times at Elitches -- Love's gunna get you down.

I ran across this video while looking for the disturbing song on Dell's automated phone welcome. Oh, yeah... Not only was I greeted by a disturbing rendition of the Chordettes' classic, I was faced with the rather embarrassing task of using Dell's voice-only automated phone menu. I was starting to hear snickers from the cubes next to mine when I was saying things like "something else" and "none of those" over and over. Man. I hate Dell. No offence if you're a pro-Dell, but in my experience at work, "Dells" are overpriced pieces of junk. Maybe it's just the government contract we have, but they cost way more than they should and drop like flies in our office.


Ok, so I'm not doing things like Abb, practicing my Spanish on people in the E.R. I work in, but I am going on my first two work trips by myself...

Next week, I go to Santa Nella, CA! YAHOO! Maybe I can even visit Anderson's Split Pea Soup again... That land-o-bland restaurant makes you keep coming back, begging for more blandness :-)

A week or two after that, I get to go to Glen Canyon dam to do my first solo battery test. I hope that goes well because a battery test has the potential to trip the entire plant offline -- one of your worst nightmares.

A week or two after that, I'm going to Elephant Butte, NM to do some relay testing -- I've never done one of those before, so we'll see what it's like.

Sparkys show signs of insanity

(Click to enlarge)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Happy Birthday, Lollipop!

Yeeeeikes! Try calling this toll-free number:


I thought to myself, "Oh, no!" when I called this number at work today... I didn't think I'd dialed the right place :-)

For those of you who are too scared to use the phone (aka me a couple years ago), you can hear the scary maddness here:

Saturday, August 22, 2009


I got this from some people who "took me in" at the church I attended while staying in Las Vegas:

Let me get this straight ---

Obama's Health Care Plan will be written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a congress that hasn't read it (and whose members will be exempt from it), signed by a president who smokes, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese and financed by a country that is broke.

What could possibly go wrong?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Yeah, robot!

The robot I used for May Day contains most of the parts needed to make one of these:

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Fifty Years of Math 1959-2009 (in the USA )

Here's a joke I got in my email:

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?


Friday, August 7, 2009


I made an interesting discovery the other day... Guinea pigs aren't miniature pigs that run around in a cage... They look like ugly rabbits.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Kid Calamity

(In case you haven't figured it out yet, I've always admired alliteration.)

There was this one time in Sunday school... Poor teacher. 3rd grade all-boy class? Yikes! Us, being boys and all, we goofed around a lot. Whether we were "sitting" upside-down in our chairs, pulling chairs out from under other people, or devising an even more cleaver and imaginative way to be wild, we had a ball. There were no girls present to impress and despise, no inferior beings to which to flaunt an incredible show of superiority while those of the inferior race looked on in disgust. There were no distractions to prevent us from focusing our full and utmost attention on the task at hand -- being wild. There was this one time a guy PERFECTLY pulled a chair out from under me while I was sitting down. SPLAT! It was a perfect riot! Anyway, the teacher arranged the chairs in a semi-circle around him while he taught. When someone stuck out of the mayhem as being excessively bad, our teacher would scoot the bad boy's chair back 5ft or so, and thus the criminal, the committee misdemeanors, was excluded from the circle of wild savages, all the while, being showered with gestures of shame and mortified that he, a perfect angle, was accused of committing a crime, so heinous in magnitude, as to demanded such an act of retribution.

I usually wasn't bad... well, comparatively, that is. This one time, though, I was rather wild and got scooted back. To make it worse, I said, "Thanks for the ride!" When the roar of laughter subsided, the teacher responded with the imperative command that filled every heart with dread, "See me after class." Needless to say by the end of class, I wished I hadn't been bad that week.


Now... Tell me what it is and who makes the "technology" it uses and I'll be impressed. (I do know the answer, so leave a comment if you figure it out.)

Sunday, August 2, 2009


Dontcha just hate those childhood memories that still make you go, "erk"?

Yeah, well, there was this one time at church I went to the bathroom in a less-used, smaller bathroom. When I walked in, I saw that the stall door was closed, and this surprised me. I was sure there couldn't possibly be someone there, but I wasn't sure... so, against my better judgment, I looked under the partition. My gaze was met by a pair eyes staring right back at me... not only that, it was an adult I knew fairly well but was rather scared of. Needless to say, I high-tailed it out of there and was in morbid fear for years to come that the man on the toilet recognized me.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Saturday Madness

I went to a review class today... It was weird visiting ol' school for the first time in over a year. Quite depressing, actually. It brought back many recollections from my life a year or so ago. Anyway, I went to the first of many "review classes" today as I'm studying to take a dumb test that means absolutely nothing. At least a degree sorta means something. Becoming a "professional engineer" only means you studied for and took a test -- anyone could do that. Of course, the "professional" engineer's board tries to make it sound all heady and wonderful and this and that, but to me it only means the possibility of a higher pay ceiling. Ok, so it's worth something. Anyway, today, we reviewed Math... from 8am to 5:30pm. We started with the equation for a line, covered college algebra, trigonometry, Calculus, linear algebra, and differential equations... for a long, long, long time. I was rather dead by the time I crawled home to scratch outside the door. :-)

Ok, actually, it was pretty good. The teacher did an amazing job. I don't have a clue how you'd keep people actively engaged in math, of all subjects, for an entire work day, but she did it. Quite amazing. With someone like that, I might actually half-way enjoy math. (I despise math... and just because "I'm an engineer" doesn't mean I'm good at math. All it means is I'm a nerd.)