Monday, February 2, 2009

FOOD!

Yeah, that's right. I was lazy tonight. I bought pre-cooked BBQ bird (they were out of BBQ beast), put it on hamburger buns, added some "microwave fries" (bad deal and probably seasoned with MSG, but they were really good :-), a pear, and some juice. Ahhh... It was so good. Not only that, I have left-overs for... probably three nights. *sigh*

Oh, BTW, I ate a new type of pear tonight... It's a cross between a green pear and a carrot. I'm going to have to buy pears a couple days before I eat them... I wonder if I could stare at a pear for a couple days and not eat it? Hey, that's about the only advantage to living by yourself! Pears are cheaper than tomatoes!

Yesterday in the grocery store, I decided I absolutely had to have some Pepsi. After being without it for so long, I figured one "soda" wasn't going to hurt, so I was dumb and bought a 20oz bottle. I got to the car, opened it up, and took a big gulp. Ahhhhhh! So refreshing! I started closing it back up, and to my horror, I discovered I had bought DIET PEPSI! I was kinda mad at myself, but I figured one diet Pepsi wasn't going to kill me. Moderation, right? I started drinking some more and quickly became victim to my imagination... I started visualising the carcinogenic substance sliding down my esophagus and upsetting my metabolism, causing me to gain weight... (Diet soda supposedly has a strong link to weight gain. Here's a fairly good summary if you're interested: One, Two "...even though diet soda pop has no calories, it still makes us obese and more prone to diabetes.") Of course, once you start thinking about stuff like that, the Pepsi starts to taste bad. It's like feeling weird from being next to a microwave oven while thinking about how the microwaves are exciting the dipolar molecules in your body or how slippery soap feels because it's dissolving the plasma membrane of your skin cells... Anyway... Yeah. No more pop. I *cough* threw it away. I figured I wasn't enjoying it, and I really didn't need it anyway, so why bother to drink the last of my liquid money.

MEH! Ignorance is bliss!

Isn't it cool how money can transform into all sorts of different shapes? You can drink it, eat it, ride in it, fly it, the possibilities are endless! Oh, not only that, if you're in Vegas, you can bring it down to a Casino and it will unlock buttons for you to push! YAHOO!

(Yeah, I don't want to write anything interesting because I'm in the mood to be weird. I wish I could jump around in the hotel room.)

6 comments:

Sarcastic Sally said...

You can't jump around in the hotel room?! Are you paralyzed!? Or did you somehow aquire the disease "Commonsensitis?"

The single best thing about hotels is that it's not your stuff, so you have no reason not to break it! Jump back and forth from the bed and the loveseat until they both start sounding like accordions! See if you can make it from one end of the room to the other in the rolling chair by kicking off the wall! Unplug the lamps, put one in each hand, and spin around while yelling "I'm a helicopter" and making rotor noises!
USE LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!
You'll be happy you did.

Oh, and which is worse: rotting your insides with diet pop, or rotting your teeth with regular pop? I would have to say the latter is worse -- you can't see your insides, so who cares if they rot.
Either way, you shouldn't have thrown the diet pop away; it makes excellent car-cleaner. Dissolves everything.

BTW, those fries remind me of giant mealworms...

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any fines, angry hotel-dwellers, beds falling through ceilings, insides rotting, or deaths that may result from the above suggestions being carried out.

Great Googly Moogly! said...

Get rid of that nasty Ketchup and the rest looks mighty appetizing!

Ben&Brit said...

KDOOL! No, it's more like my coworker is right under me, and since he drives me to work every day, I better be nice to him :-)

Yeah, you're so right about jumping on things... I'm waiting till I leave to do that. I gotta enjoy the stuff before I destroy it :-)

Hey, teeth are replaceable. Insides aren't... then again... MEH! I'll just stick to grapefruit juice and water.

You're evil, you know that? Now I'm not going to be able to enjoy my fries :-D

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY?!? Slayer of Ketchup?!? I'm afraid I can no longer be your friend... Then again, you write excellent blog posts, so... I'll overlook it... this time ;-)

Jowy H said...

*Drools* OOOH that looks del.icio.us!
MAN! WHAT A WASTE OF GOOD POP!
(NOT SODA!) It makes me sad just to think about it. :(

Sarcastic Sally said...

+1

Sarcastic Sally said...
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