The only green you can see is palm trees, cacti, and asto-turf.
The left-most lane at a traffic light is sometimes a U-turn lane.
You have to wait for a red right-turn arrow to turn green.
You have to stop at every light, independent of which direction you’re going or what time of day it is.
You hear tourists talking about being so drunk they can’t remember anything as being the most desirable state. (I didn’t think it was that horrible down here!)
There are more wedding chapels than grocery stores.
Every gas-station has slot machines.
Traffic lanes are marked with reflectors instead of paint.
Taxis can cross 8 lanes of traffic in a single city block.
The sun gets so low you can’t see anything while driving towards the sun.
All construction work is done at night.
Natives wear coats and gloves when the temperature drops below 80.
People drink massive amounts of beer out of plastic guitars.
You see a ton of drunk people at noon. (Yeah, I know… It’s always after 5 somewhere!)
Grocery stores play heavy metal.
Speed traps consist of C.O.P.s speeding in unmarked cars and pulling anyone over who's going as fast as they are.
Most people are grumps.
Most Nevada license plates say, “Las Vegas.”
Engineers constantly talk about how dumb gambling is. (You’d think after living here for years, you’d get tired of talking about gambling, but I guess not.)
You can see more slot machines than people.
It's hard to find a car wash.
Everything except “winning” is legal.
A light rain shower almost mandates absence from work due to hazardous weather conditions.
When it rains, you can skate on sidewalks almost as if they were iced up.
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7 comments:
"People drink massive amounts of beer out of plastic guitars."
Well, what else are you supposed to do in the middle of the dessert?
"There are more wedding chapels than grocery stores."
According to the back of my shampoo bottle, there're over 300 weddings a day there. No wonder Vegas has such a high crime rate.
"Every gas-station has slot machines."
Last time the Morgans went to Nevada, David said he'd bring me back a slot machine. He didn't. It's up to you now.
"Natives wear coats and gloves when the temperature drops below 80."
You've got to be exaggurating...right?
Btw, everytime you say "natives," I picture feather headdresses and facepaint.
Good point :-P
300, hu? Wow... That seems like a whole lot, especially considering how small Vegas really is... Then again, there's a whole lot of chapels, so someone's got to be keeping them in business.
As far as crime goes, I'm guessing it's mainly drugs and theft. People frequently get stabbed/robbed after big winnings. As far as drugs go, almost all the restrooms have needle deposit boxes next to the trash cans. There is so much drug usage in restrooms, in fact, that you'll supposedly come out with enough drugs on your hands to make you look like an addict if you don't wash them and not touch anything. Yeah, there's a lot of crime here. You should see the Las Vegas police garage... I've never seen so many police cars in my life!
Heh heh... If you really do want a slot machine, I'm sure I could finagle one. (Hey, it would give me something to do, if nothing else :-) Seriously, with how many machines they have down here, there's got to be "dead" or outdated machines around... lots of them.
Ok, the temperature was a slight exaggeration. How about when temperatures drop below 74? Chau Nguyen (the supervisor for the guys I'm working with) wears a down coat when it's really nice out side. :-) (And, yes, you too would know how to spell her name if you'd put it on 100 drawings, too.)
And, yeah... I get the same picture with regards to natives... What do you call them, though? Vegasites? :-P
Well, as long as you are going to bring Sally back a slot machine, Bring me back a few too.
Sounds like the life out there. Boy, I wish we had that kind of excitement here!
LOL -- If you guys seriously want one, let me know, and I'll bring back one if I can find one. ONE! (They're big and I'm sure they're heavy.)
6 or none at all.
I may not have room for even one, so I'm sorry. You'll have to fight over it if I find one.
You'll just have to buy a U-hall trailer for us...
? How can you skate on the sidewalks if they're just wet? Are they really dusty or smooth?
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